Most of us know that abuse is bad, that it is not the victims fault and that no one deserves it. What most people don’t know is how much childhood trauma and abuse developmentally impact an individual.
As a trauma therapist and trauma survivor, you would be surprised with how often I hear, “well it happened so long ago I should be over it by now.”
We feel like because time is gone by that we should have moved on already. We feel like if somehow, we are still having anxiety, depression, trauma symptoms it’s because there’s something wrong with us. We see other people on social media, or other people around us that are seemingly functioning so well. We wonder why we can’t do the same. The truth is, everyone has an internal struggle. It’s just hard to see from the outside, looking in.
I’m going to write a list of 10 tips for childhood abuse and trauma survivors to begin to heal and regulate their nervous system.
1. Surround yourself with people that make you feel supported. This one is actually way easier said than done. It’s difficult to cut people out of our lives especially if we aren’t close with our family of origin. But it’s really important that we start to cultivate connections with people that make us feel seen, valued, understood and loved. If we don’t, then we will just end up piling trauma upon trauma over time.
2. Get exercise that feels good to us. This is an underrated coping skill, and it doesn’t need to look like becoming a professional bodybuilder. What it means is when we activate our muscles they release which scientist called the hope molecule. Essentially, exercising and moving our body makes us feel happier and it’s easier to cope when things are hard.
3. Eating a nutritious diet. Feeding our body food. That makes our body feel good is really important also. When thinking about trauma healing, we think about whole body healing. A part of this is feeding our bodies foods that will help improve our mood. Our body in our mind are extremely connected and there’s no way to separate them so feeding our body healthy foods is a way of feeling better emotionally also.
4. Focusing on good sleeping habits. The quality of our sleep affects everything in our lives. Especially when we have had childhood trauma we can often really struggle with sleep. Getting into a good sleep habit means taking an hour before bed to get a new routine and turning off electronics. It also means Getting our circadian rhythm balance which means going to bed and waking up around the same times every day. This helps our body know what to expect and function better overall.
5. Eating enough food. Sometimes when we’ve experienced childhood, trauma or abuse, we can begin to neglect our bodies by not eating enough. If we’re not getting enough calories every day, then our body actually goes into survival mode and it’s extremely hard for us to function. We aren’t able to learn or retain information the same way, if we are not getting enough food.
6. Allowing ourselves to play. As trauma and abuse survivors things often feel really serious. We’re often in a trauma response, and we know how to go deep emotionally. What we didn’t get enough practiced doing was keeping things light and playing when we were kids. So now it is important that we intentionally give ourselves time to play as adults.
7. Create a healthy sexual dynamic with ourselves. When we’ve experienced childhood abuse or trauma, some of that can include child sexual abuse. This can end up affecting us by causing us to either number out when it comes to sex or overindulge and then feel shame. There’s nothing good or bad when it comes to sex – just what makes us feel good or makes us feel bad. Really listening to your body and realizing what makes you feel good and what doesn’t and honoring that is really important.
8. Start listening to your gut. If we have experience childhood abuse, sexual abuse, neglect, or other trauma, we can become really disconnected from our body. A way to reconnect is by listening to our gut feeling and then acting accordingly.
9. Tend to your inner child. Pay attention to what you liked when you’re younger and sometimes give yourself those simple pleasures. Listen to what your inner child wants, needs and how your inner child feels.
10. Acts of self-love and self-care. And do you things that actually make your nervous system feel better. This can be taking a hot bath, taking a few deep breaths, meditating, yoga, hiking, spending time with friends, and the list goes on. We can be really tempted to spend hours scrolling on our phone and it’s important that we aren’t too hard on ourselves for that But that is also not making her nervous system feel any better. So taking just a few moments a day to do some thing that really feeds our sense of calm and self love is really important
This is just a really good starting list of where to start to begin to heal from childhood abuse. I could probably make a list of 100 tips. Of course it is really important to seek professional help when dealing with childhood trauma and abuse recovery. Going to trauma therapy for PTSD And complex PTSD can be a way to heal from trauma much faster than we can heal alone.
If you have any more questions about childhood trauma therapy, childhood abuse therapy or trauma therapy please reach out via the Metta Holistic Therapy contact page or email me directly at reneeminxtherapy@gmail.com – if you’re in crisis or an emergency please call 911.
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